My husband just tried to seduce me by saying we can do it doggystyle so you can watch tv
Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
He just gave a drunken 7 minute speech on how to make the perfect grilled cheese. he explained types of butter and cheeses....i think i love him
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
She just passive-aggressively stripped in the kitchen while humming the theme to Doug.
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
Hey I know you're not home, but I'm here. Your front door is unlocked and someone took shit on your doormat...
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
Randomize
