I was 10 minutes late leaving for lunch today because I couldn't lose a boner. It is impossible to tuck it when your shirt is tucked in...gotta quit facebook stalking hot chicks at work
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
I tried to order champagne at IHOP last night
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
Randomize
