woke up this morning with "hah" written on my penis.i was like wtf?? morning wood kicked in and found out what it really said, haNNah.then i remembered.
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
I sent out a mass text that said "margaritas for Jesus?" and nobody responded, worst Easter ever.
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
Randomize
