Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
She literally got down on all fours and I swear did a 360 degrees head rotation exorcist barf...and then moaned IT WAS THE TACO BEEEELLLLLL
so no, not her best night
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
Someone sharpied "COCK HUNGRY" on my butt cheeks last night. When the fuck did I have my ass out?
Seriously, I look like I crawled out of a bog. Succeeding at being as undateable as possible.
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
You came down the stairs dressed as winnie the pooh and kicking cups off the table and out of people's hands
First date was awkward. I think I just saw someone die.
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
Randomize