Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
Getting drunk and throwing things at people isnt the same with you not here. Remember when you dislocated my elbow and then popped it back in in one motion?
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
Randomize
