If that ambulance is off to save our dignity, please tell them it's too late...
why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
I think I met somebody from your birthday this past weekend. He said I held a push up contest outside the bar and told them I would make out with the winner. He said he won..
I mean.. listen to "Put It In My Mouth" and you'll get the gist of my voicemail for you.
Oh dude I know. When something that's supposed stop pregnancies taste like chocolate something's up
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
He called me at 4 a.m. and wanted me to drive him to McDonald's then drop him off at home. It wasn't even a booty call, it was a fucking chauffeur call.
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
One minute we're singing Wagon Wheel, and the next you're belly dancing in a trash bag on the beer pong table
Yeah everywhere i go i feel like a 3rd or 5th or (2n+1)th wheel. That's right, i'm a mathematically depressed drunk.
Randomize
