...so i touched it.
I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
i just got arrested. apparently dont move means dont move.
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
i wish there was a 'silent except for booty calls' volume level on my phone
I wish i had a shirt that said, "I know what you're thinking and it's not herpes on my face"
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
I asked him to make me two boxes of macaroni and cheese. That's like eight servings. How did I think that was an okay amount.
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
No dude 10 parakeets in your bedroom is 9 parakeets too many. Bring them back. Today!
Randomize
