I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
how did we ever eat at restaurants where they DIDNT squirt-gun tequila in our mouths?
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
The best part about this city is obvious. Someone saw me crouching by a bar pissing in my leftover Panera bread bowl and they just winked.
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
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