i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
Im sweating champagne and woke up in nothing but a tuxedo jacket. What didnt go wrong last night?
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
Woke her up in the middle of the night with the smell from a fart. So proud of my colon.
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
Reasons why I love cats more than people: 1. They're not fucking people.
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
Randomize
