I CAN MOONWALK!
it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
You asked the dj to play 'who let the dogs out" because it was your birthday. You left the bar and then re-entered to the song
Just opened a bottle with my rape whistle. At least it's finally getting used for something.
I swear, if he gets me a bowling ball for Christmas, I will throw it at him.
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
Like he legitimately was standing straight up, feet on the roof, not holding on to a moving car.
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
Randomize
