3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
North Korea, Best Korea!
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
I mean you were pretty drunk at one point you asked if we could have a glass of water ready for you in case you choked while bobbing for apples, but you said grape juice was preferable. You can't choke on an apple btw
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
You told him he looked like Jesus and that you wanted to fuck his face, I'd say your blind date went well
He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes
Go have sex with him right now! Drunk sex is the best sex.
I know but these gold fish are so much better
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
Sorry about kicking you last night but you don’t mess with a girls margarita bucket. Ever
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