I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
the homeless guy was waiting for me this morning. this is the closest to a boyfriend ive had in years.
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
His sombrero wouldn't fit in the car and I had to buy him some Jack to make him stop bitching. You owe me
Please stop hiding condoms in my house. If I want to have sex with you, I will let you know. FYI, my mom found the ones hidden behind the milk. She was not happy.
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
I have drunkenly angered a family of raccoons. Please send help immediately.
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
The reason why I poison my organs is so that you guys can't sell them.
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
Randomize
