I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
Tonight was like the Noah's Ark of alcohol. I had to have two of everything.
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
I made it crystal clear I'm only upset because he's not anywhere fit to be a father of my unborn zygote
I tell you, MacGyver never had to put up with people shitting themselves while he worked...
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
I AM BEING ACCOSTED BY A HUMMING BIRD
I AM IN MILD DISTRESS
My sister's exploding appendix just cock blocked me...
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
Randomize
