this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
just 'accidentally' changed my relationship status to 'in an open relationship' just to see what offers I might get if I were to dump him. it's not looking good
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
I showed up to a booty-call in my onesie pajamas and rubber boots
Dying on my bathroom floor at 7 am, I would rather be eaten by a shark right now
Best line overheard at the bar: "This is the last time I'm shaving my ass for him...I mean we just broke up".
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
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