I hate ducks.
What?
they're sketch. like squirrels. squirrels are sketch as fuck.
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
I knew he cared when I got his text "happy birthday to the girl who gives phenomenal head"
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
in your professional opinion, what's the most elegant way of saying "sorry I spent all night flirting with you, I thought you were gay" ?
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
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