Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
doctors was a success... no liver damage and I lost five pounds.. we're celebrating tonight you get the whiskey I'll get the burritos.
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
Sorry I banged your sister. But in my defense you ain't fucked me in a month. In fact I should get a medal for keeping it in your family.
Just met my future wife. Please dont fuck her.
The reason why I poison my organs is so that you guys can't sell them.
...okay, you can't just say 'masturbating llama' and not explain yourself
Randomize
