"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
you insisted on breathalizing me with a inhaler.
where are my pants?
you were passing out with two blankets and the person next to you was cold so you gave him your pants to keep warm
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
Seriously, you can't give someone's wife an orgasm on the dance floor of a gay nightclub and then hang out with her husband the following week
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
I'm sharing a breakfast burrito w my uber driver
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
Randomize