Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
Just bought a pack of cigs...gas station guy informed me i took off my underwear and tried to pop a squat by the milk last night...
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
I think as far as last words to bitter ex girlfriends go, "enjoy that staph infection youre about to get in your uterus" is right up there with the best
An outback commercial just played and I remembered that guy from Australia Imade out with at the Derby. Great Bachelorette Party, btw.
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
I didn't know where you were for like 15 minutes and then I went in the bathroom splashing water on the mirror and throwing hand towels around saying that you were "redecorating"
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
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