Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
haha I love it when I find out that girls who were mean to me in middle school are now some random dude's baby mama. thanks, facebook.
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
He insisted that I looked like Kiefer Sutherland, told me he didn't know what to do about it, then hugged me awkwardly.
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
Being engaged is strange. I looked at my cock this morning and said, "we did alright these last 32 years, right?"
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
Successful first night. Lost my phone. Front desk found it. Earthquake in wine country. Didn't feel it.
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
Randomize
