"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
I feel like everything I touch in this bar I'm gonna get hepatitis. my kinda joint
I feel like the only phrases I can clearly speak while drunk consist of: i'm fucking drunk, chug, and shots
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
So here I am, sexting at work.
If you need me I'll be in the hospital involving super glue and fake eyelashes.
Randomize
