Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
You were Q-tipping mashed potatoes out of your ear.
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
I just watched some kid bang his girlfriend and I was like whatever I'll just sit here and do all your fucking drugs that's fine
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
he's annoying when i'm sober but vaguely hot when i'm drunk so yes i do have a preference and it goes by the name of vodka
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
Randomize
