I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
I'm gonna win the lottery and buy chinchillas and tattoos for everyone
This just spotted: a bagpiping Elmo on the street.
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
I'm so baked, I spent the last hour trying to screencapture the cracks on my phone.
Only thing that feels right is being horizontal in the fetal position
Idk if my headache is from the alcohol, the pot brownies, or being dragged down 8 flights of stairs by my ankles because i passed out in the 12th floor girls bathroom by you. Probably a combo of all three.
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize
