i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
The other night after we fucked we talked about Lowe's vision insurance. Never fuck a coworker.
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
His dick's name has evolved from Sebastian to Big Daddy to Barbara Streisand to Barbara Walters. I think the transformation is finally complete.
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
How do you get the "hangs out with drunk assholes" insurance
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
Girl in front of me just swan dove into the middle of the carpeted hallway, stood up, clapped for herself, and then continued walking. My life is complete.
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
Once you start using "cuddles" as a code word for sex you'll never get real cuddles again
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