I totally just used John Mayer's lyrics to get laid.
his prince albert piercing just severely cut the roof of my mouth. can you pick me up at the hospital if he drops me off?
haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
it glows. i had to have it.
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
I want an alcoholic time machine so we could skip to new years eve
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
Just woke up from an extremely erotic dream featuring Steve Buscemi. Now I can't sleep.
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
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