there was a trapeze. enough said
Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
Pretty sure they aren't letting me back to karaoke night after I screamed "fuck every one of you tasteless hillbillies!!" because I felt they didn't clap loud enough for Jen.
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
Oh, cold wet seat on the 48! Are you piss? Are you the sweaty ass leavings of an obese person? Are you the spilled King Cobra from the night before? I do not know! I dare not smell to find out... Pants ruined...
I'm sorry I called your mother a reasonably-priced receptacle.
My vagina feels like a chupacabra ripped me apart using its mythological set of needle pointed teeth
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
Randomize
