Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
My boss' voice literally gives me gas
she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
How is it that lesbians won't hit on me at a gay club, but they'll hit on me every time I go to Walmart?
every time I see Anne Hathaway all I can think is "my cousin fucked a guy who fucked her" and it makes me proud.... so I want to say thank you for being that cousin.
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
I sat alone in Buffalo Wild Wings eating chocolate cake on Country Western karoake night. The waiter asked me if I was ok. Twice.
they lined up to high five me when i got taken out by the stretcher. The paramedic high fived them too
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
Date #3: He brought me a mason jar full of organic weed that he grew on his property. Will you be the witness when we sign our marriage license?
Do you think there are other mothers looking at porn in the carpool line?
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
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