I'm wearing a childsize birthday hat and a bib. I am the def of sex appeal rite now
Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
Apparently oprah and I were in competition to see who's ass could get bigger this summer
i'm so high that for the last 10 minutes i pretened my sock was a mouse, and played with it like it was legit.
She never called back. Financed a fleshlight.
I knew I fucked up when I woke up with the meat scissors in my hand.
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
Operation: pick up a lawyer was a resounding success. Commence operation: football mugshot weekend
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
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