I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
I'm glad my gym is open 24 hours..I stopped in on my way home to puke from the bar
mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
Dude, you left ME alone in your house. With your fully-stocked wine cellar. Why would you do that to yourself?
it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.
Pictures of drunk me in a bike helmet are like McDonald's collectible toys. There's sooo many, but NO ONE has seen all of them.
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
Randomize
