Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
so he came in me this morning and i was like WTF DUDE. i called him Daddy until he agreed to pay the full $40 for plan B. He wants to name our Patrick because it will be a st pattys day baby. absolutely NOT.
drunk lawn darts. Let's test the homeowners policy
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
hotel security told us you walked into the hotel with blood all over your dress, weren't wearing any underwear and were escorted back by three men who were believed to be "homosexuals".
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
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