Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
No I'm not proud of you for not sleeping with him. He has herpes. You don't get a gold star for behaving how you're expected to. Trust me. I'm a teacher.
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
Last night I crashed my housemates tinderdate, smoked his weed and then left. He felt too awkward to say no.#Empowerment
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
When the paramedic asked Logan how he fell he explained that he was trying to lick his eyeball, missed and tripped over his own tongue.
Randomize