Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
Convinced the domino's pizza delivery person to go to shaws and buy me a bottle of wild turkey. For america.
Honey, I don't care how "classic you" this is. It's not gonna matter if we can't find you in the morning.
Just pulled back my covers. Jizz. Jizz everywhere. Hipster jizz everywhere on my only set of sheets.
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
Randomize