so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
There is a banner on a house by campus that says "welcome to college dads. Thanks for dropping off your daughters!"
Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
Said he made a playlist for taking a shit. only two songs on it are the Star Wars theme and "America, fuck yeah" set to repeat.
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
He's cheating on his wife, and he's judging me for eating McDonalds
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
60% of the guys I've slept with are on my holiday greeting card mailing list. I'm an amazing ex lover.
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
lol hangovers are for mortals.
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
Randomize
