you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
I think mom knows I'm drunk I put a full blown balloon in the fridge.
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
Does taking an old homeless guy to the strip club, buying him lap dances, and calling him pops all night count as a good deed???
She's trying to sext her husband for the first time. I'm feeding her lines. It is 3 am and I am playing Cyrano for my wasted big sister TELL ME I AM NOT THE BEST SISTER IN LAW ON THE PLANET.
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
I made him watch the first 5 episodes of Game of Thrones before I decided to sleep with him.
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize
