Scream out, "Tax-Free dick over here" in the bar. Ladies love tax free stuff
I wish there was a facebook app that filtered my notifications to show only the ones having to do with people who'll fuck me.
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
my 3 favorite things in life are tequila, dicks, and making sandwiches. that DOES NOT make me a bad person.
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
He tried to break dance on the island in the kitchen and ended up knocking over everyone's alcohol onto the floor then yelled "GUCCI" before vomiting
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
Slowly dying because of my period and my phone is mocking me because I have 69% battery
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
Randomize
