You were wearing a sombrero. And a crown. And told me to use the nerf gun to protect your room from the cat. You don't have a cat.
i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
Dude you made a rodeo shot in beer pong won the game then got in the hot tub poured beer all over the side and screamed "hot tub time machine!"...
This hangover makes more sense now
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
I told my fuck buddy that I wanted one of his arms to take home with me to hold onto in bed and he was hurt that I didn't want to bring him, like as a person, home to my family. I feel like you and only you could appreciate this.
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
By 9 pm this evening I'll have accomplished smashing with two different guys in two different time zones in the same day.
Stay hydrated
Randomize
