The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
I just saw a guy in front of the courthouse giving himself a sobriety test and fail it...this can't end well
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
Just got a full body massage. It was uncomfortable at first, but then I realized I let strangers turn off the lights and put their hands all over my naked body 3 times a week anyways.
Just so you know, I'm standing in my bra eating cereal. My keys were in the cereal box.
Hey just to warn you theres a really fat guy passed out in front of our front door snoring. Don't touch him, he's in god's hands now.
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
Randomize
