Why do bread and butter chips remind me of eating out your mom?
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
Well. No wine. And no real mixers. I'm using vodka and grape juice and calling it Slurrrlot. Happy Holidays bitch.
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
woke up to two girls crawling on top of me forcefeeding me bacon. Best. Hangover. Ever.
Randomize
