Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
I want Paula Dean to narrate shark week next year
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
last night I learned that if you try to buy tacos in this town, that you will be stopped by three cop cars with breathalizers
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
Randomize
