what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
According to my dad, my tongue ring makes people assume I give a lot of blow jobs because, as stated by him "that's what it's for"
Kanye's agent is the only person whose job sucks worse than mine.
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
WAIT U DIDN'T FEED THE SQUIRREL?
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
I found someone's tooth on the stairs when I was vacuuming, and my sister found a catheter in the men's bathroom... this cleaning job is dangerous
He's in a nude suit, bald, with a pink headband and a black sharpie streak down his forehead.
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
Just because I know you’ll get a kick out of this, I sneezed earlier and cupcake frosting came out
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
Randomize
