I accidentally burped into my bong.
i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
We're in the emergency room. He concussed himself trying to pop all the bubbles on my "one bubble a day" wall calender with his face.
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
i spilled a box of white cheddar cheezits on the bathroom floor about 2 days ago. when i went back to the house he yelled at me from the bathroom: "THANKS FOR THE CHEEZITS, I'll ALWAYS HAVE A SNACK FOR WHEN IM SHITTING NOW!"
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
It’s easy for me to be professional, the tough part is finding the perfect amount of bitchy undertone
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