I'm afraid we're only dating because we're too lazy to look for anyone else.
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
dude i've broken up a marriage, I think I can handle a simple engagement.
Another one? Damn, how many David's is that?
six.
Oh, I thought it was higher.
No, that would be the Matt's
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
I'm 2 beers deep on an empty stomach, and I just wanna say, I pride myself on my use of commas
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
Found my bra in the fridge. See you in 10 mins. It's gonna be a good fuckin day!
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