I just got a ticket for shitting on a sand dune.
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
No one will ever love me with the amount of puke on my hand
I was just about to send a concerned text until I opened my door and saw a shopping cart. I'm glad you made it home in one piece and with toys.
Halfway through he got an idea for a short story so he wrote it in magic marker on my boobs. Yeah, he's a keeper.
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
I just fanned myself with my wet toothbrush to dry my mascara. Wtf
I showered three hours ago and yet feel the need for another one already. This is my day.
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