I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
i'm sitting in the library realizing that the 2 most productive things i did this weekend was have sex and go to the liquor store...
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
She is dumping me if she doesn't get a ring by Valentines. So one more month of free sex and it will be back to the right hand.
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
There is a guy down by the river wearing a zebra print speedo and a sombrero, with a beer in each hand, screaming "This is America bitches!"
I don’t have the time, patience, or blood alcohol level to deal with her.
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
Randomize
