I shall celebrate this moment with a beer conveniently located in the sock drawer directly to the right of me.
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
Do you have any puffy paint? I want to put "fiesta muthafuckas" on my sombrero but its too much to bedazzle.
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
Had to lock my cat in the bathroom so I could masturbate in peace.
Randomize