She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
I decided I'm going to give him a celebratory fuck for his accomplishments. Knocked on his door, handed him some condoms and said "I'll be over tonight with sex and booze"
I want to be you.
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
Sometimes having a penis is like having a really stupid drunk best friend. You see it doing dumb shit but you're just not the one in charge.
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
I haven't lost it. I know I'm not a prophet. It was a joke.
After the edible you claimed you were talking to my cat. We're in our 30s now, what was once cute is now a liability.
The streets are paved with hand jobs
Randomize
