8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
I woke up and we were making out. So the good news is that after two years off the market, I haven't lost a step. I'm picking up girls in my sleep now.
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
I figured out plans for New Year's and by figuring out I mean I've got a sugar bowl of cocaine. Start at 10?
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
I am too drunk to be out in this weather around all these animals.
Btw "you gettin a workout in" isn't a great gym pickup line. Like no I'm fucking grabbing lunch on my way to class.
I understand why animals eat their young in the wild after watching your kid this afternoon
Update: they told me I was twerking to twenty one pilots
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
Randomize
