I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
He still lectured me about forgetting shit. Than he said he's gonna paint me green so I can stand in a corner and be a plant.
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
Dude, seduce him with cookies. You almost turned me gay with scones. Don't be surprised when they get you laid.
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
I got my little bro high for the first time... Turns out the two of us stoned together is a mess. We spent 10 minutes trying to communicate with each other using just our eyebrows.
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
2016 is coming through for me, I'm renaming it the year of great dick
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
The whole country is going to hell in a handbasket but I got a grade A fucking and don't particularly care.
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