Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
dude, the summer is killing me. i just woke up cause my balls were stuck to HER leg!
honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
Turns out, it's impolite to repeatedly request Seal "Kiss From a Rose" at bars
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
I just had 3 numbers I don't know text me and remind me I am to attend AA on monday. Im gonna say it was a good night.
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