Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
he pissed his pants, and she still wants to hook me up with him. I try not to date guys with bladder control problems... Unless they're loaded anyway.
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
Just wrote the directions to get to the girls house im hooking up with on the back of my marriage certificate. Officially worst husband ever.
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
Randomize
