So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
My epitaph should read "Margaritas: she never learned"
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
Sorry about the weird guinea pigs text. I was drunk and they were freaking me out
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
I just found out that there's a bar that has happy hour at 12 pm. It's like the universe doesn't want me to be sober
I'm sitting at my kitchen table alone dressed as a dinosaur smoking bowls in the dark. Is this rock bottom? Or is this living the dream? Who's to say
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
Randomize