i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
Umm went to talk to a client ended up seeing his semi erect penis. This is my life.
just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
I'm wearing an NBA shooting sleeve while jerking off...and yes my arm has stayed warm
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
Turns out, his fucking is as lame and staggered as his NFL career.
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
And on that day, Satan said; "Let there be the friend zone and let us get fucking high." while Jesus silently cried in the background.
My mom just said she had more presents to wrap, so I should "smoke some weed & go back to bed"... She really is Santa Claus
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
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