I'm gonna cuddle the shit out of you tomorrow
so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
i called my brother from the living room and paid him a dollar to turn off the light in my room. ive hit rock bottom
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
I was talking to a guy at my work, and mid-sentence he started vomiting violently for about five minutes, then he said, " great dope" and carried on like nothing had happened.
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
pretty sure 5 days for a bachelor party in Vegas is too long when even the stripper giving me a lapdance says "wow that's a long time!"
It's 2:10 am I am sprawled on the floor of the kitchen drunk and eating cold chicken wings come help
My purse is like an anchor I can't move I am sliding around like an over turned turtle send help
This floor is really dirty send a maid if you can
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
Randomize
