One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
why do you have a stuffed bear wearing a thong and a seatbelt in your backseat??
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
I just brought the toaster out onto the porch to light a cigarette, don't talk to me about being desperate.
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
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