M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
My mom called me and we started arguing as usual. I finally screamed at her "I HEAR YOU AND THAT 30 YEAR OLD FUCKING!" and hung up. She hasn't called back yet. I win.
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
I can't adult today.
Take a nap and try again
I have to buy a couch. There's nothing more adult than buying a couch on a Tuesday.
Maybe they'll dismiss me from jury duty after they smell beer on me. You can't keep me in a cage and then give me an hour and a half long lunch break next to a beer fest and expect sobriety.
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
Let this be a lesson to you, parmesan cheese crumbles are not a good substitute for coffee creamer, no matter how high you are
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
Randomize
