I showed my boss the "She Wolf" video. He sent it to all his friends and told me to make us martinis...thanks Shakira and keep it up
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
Just stabbed myself in the face trying to lick melted cheese off a kitchen knife.
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
I can't believe I had to sit there pretending to play Halo with a condom on for 20 Minutes because your brother barged in to tell a story.
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
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