Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
I'm gonna laugh so hard when we're both married with families
That statement alone makes me laugh so hard.
She refused to give me a hand job while we were watching a war movie saying she didn't wanna disrespect the soldiers
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
So my plane's delayed and some guy is talking to "sparkles" he just told her to never again sell drinks from her cleavage. This is why I don't go home
Rationing the toilet paper. Only one wipe allowed. I'm scared to move too much.
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