Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
dude, i just saw a bobcat while i was rollerblading this morning
1 dont ever text someone @ 8am on sat. 2 dont ever admit to rollerblading past 1992.
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
He asked me to coffee and I had no choice but to be honest. So naturally I told him that sobriety and monogomy are not two of my strong suits.
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
If you don't let me come over I'm gonna call you on speaker and you have to listen to her scream and moan too
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
I gave my girlfriend a ring to celebrate our anniversary, she thought It was an engagement ring. Now im getting married and I don't know what to do.
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
Randomize
