Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
It's going to be nice going to the airport without drugs taped to my balls like last year.
Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
The only reason I'd ever want a boyfriend is so that someone would spoon feed me applesauce when I'm so hungover I can't move
Yeah dude. Pulled out the couch and a bird flew at me. Please tell me who put a bird in my house.
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
Got my client divorced finally. He was even awarded the cat ashes. Yep I went to law school for this.
Is that strawberry winking at me??
Randomize
