At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
Locked out of the apartment with just a box of wine way to begin the weekend.
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
It doesn't feel like real life when you open your hotel room door and the first person you see is wearing a rabbit costume. I'm too hungover for this.
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
He was licking my ear while recommending that I shop at IKEA. I think he's my perfect guy.
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