no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
bouncer thought i was tryin to get the license plate numbers of strippers to stalk them. I had to go show him where I threw up to get back in.
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
Mother fucker, I knew it was bad when you tried making out with my car window
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
Funny how I'm trusting a magic 8 ball I found in the kids toy section to tell me about my sex life
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
I got copblocked.
What?
Cockblocked. By a cop. Copblocked.
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
Randomize
