And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
You got the eggs out of the fridge and yelled "my chickens are beasts at making eggs" and then pegged them at the ceiling and at a couple who were making out
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
I'm not trying to be dramatic but if someone makes you choose between getting a Brazilian or dying. For the sake of your sanity just fucking die
My bathing suit kept falling whenever I went under a wave and this kid caught on and kept checking them out so I told him nothing comes free $5 a boob
That awkward moment when the dude you blew on camera in college friend requests you on Facebook.
Who is this?!????
That awkward moment when you think you're texting a friend the above statement, but instead you text a stranger.
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
This has to be the weirdest conversation I've ever had sober and in the middle of the day before.
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
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