I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
First date. He's wearing a tuxedo shirt and keeps asking me about our future children. Escape plan #3 is now in action...
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
Just picture a dyson vacuum with razor blades. That's how it felt.
STDs are my biggest fear, besides whales. They're so fucking big.
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
It's not my fault, Tequila turned all my alarms off.
Randomize
