I feel like i just miscarried Jesus's baby...
Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
Find me a date. With a beard. I want him to rub his beard on my tits. I'm not even into that stuff but I think it'd be so warm.
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
Was I trying to make a threesome happen again?!
Yep
I need to stop doing that, Im gonna get punched in the face
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
Randomize
