Is your liver wearing a sombrero yet?
No...more like a life jacket.
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
my mom just called and warned me someone is trying to serve me, i feel like i'm playing an extreme game of hide and go seek these next weeks
and honestly a story about how you met your future husband that DOESN'T include the words "creeped him on facebook" is really not a story worth sharing
You are just a treasure cave of fabulous alcoholic ideas.
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
I think the blind guy i flirt with on a regular basis is starting to realize he's old enough to be my father. I can't tell if he's into it or not.
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
Sorry, i'm on a strict diet of vodka and regret
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
Randomize
