Pete just told the whole party I'm a squirter
I hate when people uglier than me have girlfriends
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
I ate shit on a rock, and when I got up this car full of people asked me if I was okay, and I just sprinted away screaming "I am a banana!"
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
Randomize
