Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
He came in the heat vent in my car. Don't ask how it happened.
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
You are cordially invited to an I'm not pregnant laser tag celebration tomorrow. booze is optional.
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
I didn’t want to see that boob. I told her not to show me but she said “no, I’m going to show you”
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
Randomize
