What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
I know I said that I'd stop dating 20 year olds... but at least this one's not my student...
What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
did you just send me my own nude
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
You spilt a drink on my couch, then used my dog to mop it up... you called her a mop dog, repeatedly
How is it that on the one day I'm just moving my car at 6:30 I get the walk of shame looks but when I come home at 9 am in a torn dress holding heels old ladies smile at me?
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
Randomize
