Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
I need to stop sleeping with republicans and cowboys fans.
Just saw the new iPhone. I would totally let Steve Jobs and Jon Ive eiffel tower me right now.
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
in mid sex he pointed out my great gatsby tattoo and we started discussing themes and metaphors from our fave fitzgerald novels
you need to stop fucking English majors
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