I came back to the apartment and he was waiting for me, covered in mustard.
needless to say I left
capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
for a while, i completely forgot that you wrote "fuck me" on my stomach before we went out. when he took my shirt off that night, he just looked down and said, "may i?". i think i'm in love
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
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