Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
I just took the kind of shit that makes your eyes well up with tears as you feel it moving inside of you... So cleansing.
As your only female friend, I feel the need to inform you that texts like these are why she dumped you.
It must suffice lest there secretly exist a picture of me walking out of the ocean at midnight naked and half mast with a sea urchin on my ass
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
He sent me a dick pic from work, but I could see all the pizzas in the background. Now I'm just hungry.
Your skill with memes is vaguely frightening
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Randomize
