Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
When I told my mom I was having a rough time, she responded with "pop a xanax, take a nap, and when you wake up all will be right with the world." My mom is finally starting to shape up.
when I picked him up he smelled like cheeseburgers, had a bite mark around his left nipple and we think someone stabbed him in the forehead with a pencil... it was like the Hangover meets Texas Chainsaw Massacre
Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
Every text my dad sends me is an AA mantra. Might be time to take a look at my life.
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
Found like seven bruises in the shower. One was shaped like a hand. Best. Sex. Ever.
Randomize
