I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
you are like the bill nye of illicit activities
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
Did we have sex last night?
No. You laid in my bed and I brought you taco bell.
Someone just asked me why I drink so much. Im gonna slap a bitch
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
Randomize
