Bike broken, reschedule party till thursday:(
Hey theres a creepy ass guy stalking our house.i would look alive geting in 2nite.
ive had 594 apples! thats 99 apples 6 times! math!
Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
Just pulled my keys, cell-phone and a pack of cigarettes out from between my cleavage. This one guy's face was priceless.
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
If you want to borrow my flask for all future interviews as a good luck charm because your last one went so well with it in your suit pocket, just let me know
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
You were sitting in a chair and you said "I just feel like a little fishy, floooooating through the ocean, so pretty"
Best and worst whiskey dick ever. I am hungover and can't move from the hours of sex, he on the other hand has a raw bruised dick. I win.
I couldnt sleep the entire night because her cats kept reaching under the door like they were trying to eat me for taking their place on her bed.
I always knew youd fuck a cat lady
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